Kamikazes

Ludwig’s weapon of choice for party blowouts. Herr van Food relayed to me this sordid tale of how he got banned from Bennigan’s.

On a Friday, after classes were over, friends and I decided to blow off steam by playing a game of Ultimate Frisbee.
In the Arizona heat.
Naturally, we needed refreshments so I made a gallon of Kamikazes to share. We had no problems finishing the jug, then resumed our game. Inebriated and
In the Arizona heat.
Before the canteen closed, we thought we better get some food. At some point, I laid down in the iced salad bar. The canteen food (that night was chicken a la king) was miserable as usual, so we decided to get sustenance elsewhere. We chose Bennigan’s. So the 8 of us piled friend Jack’s ’69 Mustang convertible and drove to Bennigan’s, fully inebriated.
It was happy hour at Bennigan’s, which was a 2 for 1 drink special. So we ordered 2 kamikazes. Two servers appeared with fully loaded trays and set 4 kamikazes in front of each of us. Ah yes, the 2 for 1 deal.
At some point, we emptied the stock of their premium vodka. By the time we left, they had run out of well vodka, too. Maybe that’s why we left. It was also Hawaiian night, so there was definitely dancing on tables (me) in grass skirts (again me).
Our bar bill was over $1000, and we had no credit cards, having arrived in our Ultimate Frisbee gear. Some had cash hidden in their pockets, so we left a tip for the server and left the remainder as partial payment on the bill. So this was a partial dine-and-dash situation. Hence the banishment.
So we piled back in the Mustang, some of us sitting on the trunk lid. Safety was not our immediate concern. Driving down Scottsdale Boulevard, police lights came on behind us. We were screwed. The cop walked up to us and had Jack do a field sobriety test, which Jack failed miserably. “Is there someone here who can drive?”, asked the cop. Sanjit volunteered. Now Sanjit was a Hindu and had never had a drop of alcohol until that night. He was totally wasted. Maybe the cop took his slurring as an Indian accent. So the cop put Sanjit behind the wheel.
The Thunderbird graduate school had a reputation as a CIA school (I did apply to the CIA, twice). We leveraged that reputation into free entry to preseason baseball games, movies, gym memberships, and the like.
We casually mentioned that we were from Thunderbird, and the cop immediately became deferential. “How are you boys” and “Is there anything I can do for you”, and “Put a good word for me”, to whom, we had no idea. He then escorted us home, which was far from his jurisdiction. 8 drunken students in a Mustang following a police car must have quite the sight. We got no ticket, no warning, no admonishment, nothing. The cop didn’t even check if Sanjit had a drivers’ license.